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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

DVD Contest: Safety First: The Rise of Women!

I have only one copy of this depraved madness to giveaway, so either email me or DM me on Twitter! The contest closes on 24th Dec so I can get it in the post to the winner! Don't mind where you live in the world either, I'll get it to you!


The most depraved safety film ever made in the history of the motion picture industry!

An emergency can strike at any time. Learn safety procedures the fun way - with hot women running the show and stupid men getting what they deserve!

Contains real emergency evacuation safety procedures for people who work on office buildings as dictated by Los Angeles City fire codes and other municipalities in California!

Stars Emily Wahlund, Liliya Czarina, Mary Beth Murphy, Erica Ibsen and features Playboy Playmate Juliette Frette and adult film stars Delotta Brown, Layla Jade, Cindy Pucci and Michelle Aston.

Made by the guy who made the real safety training films for all of the landmark buildings in California from San Francisco to San Diego!

Don't care for hot girls and jokes? Then watch it strictly for educational purposes with all of your co-workers and help your office become OSHA compliant!

Influenced by Russ Meyer, Fellini and the mock humor of Christopher Guest, this film is a comic gem from a writer/director with a totally unique vision and filmmaking style.

A would be R rated comedy (if it were rated) intended for audiences 18 years of age and older.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Kung Fu Christmas on SyFy

Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Jean Claude Van Damme? It can only be Kung Fu Christmas

On Syfy (Sky channel 129, Virgin Media channel 135, Talk Talk channel 22) from Dec 17th at 10pm


Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jackie Chan kicking at your nose…

There won’t be many silent nights this December as Syfy turn the season of goodwill to all men – except those pesky bad guys – into a Kung Fu Christmas with a host of awesome martial arts movies. So, get writing to Santa to ask for a karate suit and a pair of nunchucks as they prepare to judo chop and high-kick their way into 2011.



December 17th - Project A, followed by Game of Death
December 18th - The Big Boss
December 19th - Fist of Fury
December 20th - Police Story, followed by Police Story 2
December 21st - Armour of God, followed by The Myth
December 24th - Double Impact
December 25th - The Drunken Master

Find out more at www.syfy.co.uk

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Blu-Ray News: Battle Royal: SE

This amazing Battle Royale Blu-Ray set is available to order now from Arrow Film in the UK, plus it's Region Free!


3 DISC LIMITED EDITION SET FEATURES:
- BRAND NEW RESTORED TRANSFER IN GLORIOUS HIGH DEFINITION 1080P OF BOTH FILMS
- BRAND NEW SUBTITLE TRANSLATION ON BOTH FEATURES
- LIMITED EDITION PACKAGING NUMBERED #/5000 WITH CERTIFICATE
- LIMITED EDITION EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL FEATURES

DISC 1 – THEATRICAL CUT: SPECIAL FEATURES - ORIGINAL THEATRICAL TRAILER
- THE MAKING OF BATTLE ROYALE: THE EXPERIENCE OF 42 HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
- CONDUCTING BATTLE ROYALE WITH THE WARSAW NATIONAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA

DISC 2 – SPECIAL EDITION [DIRECTOR’S CUT]: SPECIAL FEATURES
- SPECIAL EDITION TRAILER
- TV SPOT: TARANTINO VERSION
- SHOOTING THE SPECIAL EDITION
- TAKESHI KITANO INTERVIEW
- THE CORRECT WAY TO MAKE BATTLE ROYALE [BIRTHDAY VERION]
- TOKYO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL PRESENTATION

DISC 3 – SPECIAL FEATURES
- OPENING DAY AT MARU NO UCHI TOEI MOVIE THEATRE
- THE SLAUGHTER OF 42 HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS
- PREMIERE PRESS CONFERENCE
- THE CORRECT WAY TO FIGHT IN BATTLE ROYALE
- ROYALE REHEARSALS
- MASAMICHI AMANO CONDUCTS BATTLE ROYALE
- SPECIAL EFFECTS COMPARISON
- BEHIND THE SCENES FEATURETTE
- FILMING ON SET
- TV SPOTS, PROMOS AND COMMERCIALS
- KINJI FUKASAKU TRAILER REEL

32 PAGE COMIC

36 PAGE BOOKLET INCLUDING:
- ‘A BATTLE WITHOUT AN END’ BY TOM MES, AUTHOR OF ‘THE MIDNIGHT EYE GUIDE TO NEW JAPANESE FILM’
- PRINTED INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR KINJI FUKASAKU
- ‘TODAY’S LESSON IS... YOU KILL EACH OTHER’ BY JAY MCROY, AUTHOR OF ‘JAPANESE HORROR CINEMA’ [LE EXCLUSIVE]
- EXTRACT FROM KOUSHUN TAKAMI’S ORIGINAL NOVEL [LE EXCLUSIVE]
- ORIGINAL PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL INCLUDING DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT, CAST AND CREW BIOGS [LE EXCLUSIVE]

16 PAGE BOOKLET INCLUDING:
- CONCEPT ARTWORK AND DRAWINGS FOR THE LIMITED EDITION SET [LE EXCLUSIVE]

5X7” POSTCARDS OF STILLS FROM THE FILM [LE EXCLUSIVE]
FOLD-OUT REVERSIBLE POSTER OF ORIGINAL ARTWORK

Monday, December 06, 2010

DVD News!

Sorry for the lack of updates - been beavering away on a few projects plus it's mental cold here in Glasgow at the moment. Anyway on with some cool recent releases you should check out:



Nikkatsu, Japan's oldest major movie studio, launched their Roman Porno erotic film line in 1971. Until 1988, the studio released more than one thousand of these films, made in a diverse range of styles and genres aimed squarely at the adult market. Impulse Pictures will be releasing over twenty-five Nikkatsu films, and this amazing trailer collection will give you a taste of these great Japanese sexploitation classics!

Trailers:

1. AFFAIR IN THE EARLY AFTERNOON: KYOTO TAPESTRY
2. APARTMENT WIFE: AFTERNOON AFFAIR
3. COED REPORT: YOKO’S WHITE BREASTS
4. CONFIDENTIAL REPORT: PROSTITUTE TORTURE HELL
5. DEBAUCHERY
6. EMBRACED BY THE DARKNESS
7. FEMALE GYMNASTICS INSTRUCTOR: JUMP AND STRADDLE
8. FEMALE TEACHER HUNTING
9. FEMALE TEACHER: DIRTY AFTERNOON
10. FEMALE TEACHER: IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTS
11. I LOVE IT FROM BEHIND!
12. IT HAPPENED ONE SUMMER: BLUE CORAL REEF
13. LOVE HOTEL
14. LOVE HUNTER
15. NEW COMPANY GIRLS: 9 TO 5
16. NURSE DIARY: BEASTLY AFTERNOON
17. NURSE DIARY: MISCHIEVOUS FINGERS
18. NURSES GONE WILD!
19. NURSES’ DORMITORY: ASSY FINGERS
20. OFFICE LOVE: MIDDAY SANCTUARY
21. OH! WOMEN: DIRTY SONGS
22. PAINFUL BLISS! A SURPRISE TWIST
23. PEARL DIVER: TIGHT SHELLFISH
24. RACE ACROSS THE DRENCHED WASTELAND
25. RAPE ME
26. RAPE SHOT: MOMOE’S LIPS
27. RAPE!
28. SAYURI ICHIJO’S WEST LUST
29. SEX FIEND
30. SEX HUNTER: WET TRAGET
31. SHE CAT
32. THE LOVERS ARE WET
33. WET LIPS
34. WET LUST: 21 STRIPPERS
35. ZOOM IN: RAPE APARTMENTS
36. ZOOM UP: BEAVER BOOK GIRL

Extras:

* Booklet with liners notes from "Behind the Pink Curtain" author Jasper Sharp.
* Short film: "Ryoko´s Lesbian Flight" (30min), and a trailer for the short.

Two words: Buy this!

Sunday, December 05, 2010

More MYA plus One 7 Movies

More titles from MYA and new kid on the block One 7 Movies:


Monday, November 22, 2010

DVD Giveaways!

Three more DVD's full of horror nonsense up for grabs from MVD Entertainment! To win simply email me or message me on Twitter

The DVD's in question are:

Horno

Scream Dream

Scream Queens Illusrated

CONTEST NOW CLOSED, WELL DONE TO THE WINNERS

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Bruce Lee Friday's on SyFy


This Month the Syfy channel are running a Bruce Lee Friday’s season in November which begins this Friday (5th) at 10pm with The Way of the Dragon. This is followed by Fist of Fury (12th) Game of Death (19th) and finally The Big Boss on the 26th.

You can also vote HERE on what was Bruce Lee's best film!

You can watch Syfy on Sky 129 or 214 in HD or on Virgin Media on Channel 135 or 165 in HD

DVD News: Aaah! Zombies! & Assault of the Sasquatch

Aaah! Zombies!



"Zombies. You know 'em, you love 'em. But what do they think of you? In this hilarious twist on the Classic Zombie Tale, we see the world through Zombie eyes when a barrel full of Toxic Goo transforms four friends in to the Walking Dead, and suddenly, it seems every one else has gone mad. In the most unique Zombie story in years, the Zombies embark on a bumbling quest to find the "Truth", completely unaware of their rotting undeadness. After all, Zombies are people too."

Assault of the Sasquatch



"When a merciless bear poacher is caught and arrested deep in the woods of a state park, he and his truck are taken to a neglected precinct in the heart of a dying city. Unbeknownst to the authorities, the impounded truck holds a deadly cargo in the form of the legendary Sasquatch! Now, stuck in an unfamiliar world, the creature will let nothing and no one stop it from coming face-to-face with the unscrupulous man who ruthlessly ripped it from its environment. Taking an inventive and action packed approach, "Assault of the Sasquatch" breaths new and exciting life into the immortal legend of Bigfoot."

Extras:

* 'Don & Murph' Featurette
* 'Booty Poppin' Music Video
* Theatrical Trailer for 'Banshee!!!'
* Theatrical Trailer for 'Assault of the Sasquatch'
* Blooper Reel
* Commentary by Producers and Director
* English 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio

I HAVE A COPY OF EACH TO GIVE AWAY - SIMPLY EMAIL ME OR MESSAGE ON TWITTER STATING WHAT FILM YOU WOULD PREFER!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Comics: MASK: The Rocky Dennis Story

Oh my, this is perhaps the funniest thing I've read in ages:

Click here for the funny!

Source: Cinema Sewer

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sinister Sunday of Shock

A Sinister Sunday of Shock! Glasgow Film Theatre, Oct 24th




HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS:
THE GODFATHER OF GORE
...N/C 18+
Sunday 24 October (12.30)
Director Frank Henenlotter
USA 2010, 1h46m
Take an outrageous ride through the wild world of exploitation films with this fascinating documentary on the legendary ‘Godfather of Gore’, Herschell Gordon Lewis, the man who gave the world such retro campy classics as Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs and The Wizard of Gore.

ARROW VIDEO PRESENTS
ISLAND OF DEATH 18
Sunday 24 October (2.45)
Director Nico Mastorakis
Greece 1975, 1h48m
Celebrating twenty-five years since the introduction of the Video Recordings Act, Arrow Video brings Glasgow patrons this exclusive screening of the Greek exploitation classic Island of Death. This insane blood and gore epic (one of the original video nasties) is both damning of right wing morality and also darkly hilarious. This screening will be followed by a Q&A session with director Nico Mastorakis.


UK PREMIERE
STALKER (AKA EXPOSE) N/C 18+
Sunday 24 October (5.30)
Director Martin Kemp
UK 2010, 1h28m
Continuing the ‘video nasty’ vibe is this remake of the 1976 shocker Expose (premiering under its new title Stalker), directed by erstwhile Spandau Ballet star Martin Kemp and featuring Hollywood sex siren Jane March (The Lover, Colour of Night). Here, March plays a writer struggling with her second novel who is soon terrorised by a homicidal PA. What follows is madness, murder and a rather untoward set piece with a cat! This screening will be followed by a Q&A session with producer Jonathan Sothcott.

ARROW VIDEO PRESENTS
DEMONS 18
Sunday 24 October (8.00)
Director Lamberto Bava
Italy 1985, 1h28, subtitles
One of the biggest and bloodiest Italian horror classics of the 1980s, Demons returns to the big screen for one night only. Directed by Lamberto Bava, son of the legendary Mario Bava, and produced by Dario Argento, this zombie shocker tells of an outbreak of flesh hungry ghouls inside a locked cinema.

Prior to Demons, we’ll screen a trailer reel of Ruggero Deodato’s infamous 1980 shocker Cannibal Holocaust. The film’s leading lady Francesca Ciardi will join us after the screening.

Following Demons will be Q&A session with the film’s special effects wizard Sergio Stivaletti.

A day pass is available for £22/£18. A further discount of £4 off the pass is applied for CineCards, see www.gft.org.uk/cinecard for details.

Arrow Films | Arrow Video | Classic, world, horror and cult films on DVD and Blu-ray Cult Labs - The friendliest Cult Forum on the Web

Friday, October 08, 2010

Site News!

Just a quick note to say that all the movie reviews now have their own separate page:

Past Reviews

Also you can now follow me on Tumblr as well @NicoF. It's basically just sh!t I like and that makes me smile! So enjoy and follow me there as well!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

DVD Review: Faces of Schlock - Boobs and Blood Edition

Faces of Schlock: Boobs and Blood Edition



USA 2009
Directors: Justin Channell (segment "Mike Wuz Here"), Henrique Couto (segment "Slay Ride"), Chris LaMartina (segment "One Foot in the Grave"), Andrew N. Shearer (segment "Blood Witch")
Writers: Justin Channell, Henrique Couto, Zane Crosby, Jimmy George, Chris LaMartina, Josh Lively, Andrew N. Shearer
Starring: Izzie Harlow, Ruby Larocca, George Stover, Countess Samela, Josh Lively, Kert Rats, Grim Parsons, Monica Puller.
DVD Released: September 21st 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 105 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.78: 1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Independent Entertainment
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

After Faces Of Schlock and Faces Of Schlock 2 comes Faces Of Schlock: Boobs & Blood Edition, promising to highlight....erm...boobs and blood, fine by me! A no budget Tales From The Crypt/Creepshow style spoof horror anthology written, directed by and starring a bunch of horror film geeks with waaay too much time on their hands. The tales are introduced by low-rent Elvira-alike Slutpira (Izzie Harlow) with the running gag that she's a serious actress making ends meet by doing these low budget gigs.

First up then is Blood Witch - an annoying goth lesbian that enjoys violently pummeling her own face to screaming orgasm summons the spirit of a dead (also lesbian) witch to murder anyone that even slightly pisses her off, like telemarketers and her roommate. It's a bizarre little tale with quite a bit of dark humour amidst all the menstruating women masturbating and dodgy close-ups of badly made-up faces. And if I might be permitted one politically incorrect statement per review let it be; the director of this one definitely has a thing for skanky fat chicks. The panty sniffing bugman was quite funny though so I'll lay off the big butt jokes. All in all it sets the tone pretty well for the rest of the stories we're about to see.

Next up is Mike Wuz Here - the employees of a local movie theatre want rid of an annoying ghost that haunts the building after committing suicide in it's basement. Unfortunately said spook is actually a paid employee of the theatre and won't stand for any anti-dead discrimination. It's a talky equal rights allegory for the most part (the bigots are referred to as boogits, hardy-har-har) until the ghost decides enough is enough, possesses one of the living employees and goes on a murder spree. Weakest story of the bunch I thought.

Followed by One Foot In The Grave - A dancer with a mysterious foot injury finally has her cast removed to reveal a nasty looking limb that makes even her foot fetishist boyfriend throw up all over his rug. She is told by her podiatrist that she will have to have the festering limb amputated or the infection will spread and she'll die. Lucky for her the doctor just happens to have a hacksaw handy and a witch pal that's in the market for a virgin's foot. The foot itself has other plans however, namely taking vengeance on those that parted it from it's owner. Which leads to a truly whacked out couple of revenge killings including one guy getting the foot booted right up his arse, through his intestinal tract and eventually out his mouth, nice! Probably the best little tale of the lot for that scene alone plus the bit at the start when the witch kills a dweeb for his foot only to find he's in a wheelchair and doesn't have any legs.

And finally Slay Ride - another goth brat, this time played by colourfully tattooed and pierced Ruby Larocca, gets grounded at Christmas while her parents head off on vacation leaving her at the mercy of her school science partner and a local redneck 'slow kid' that enjoys chopping effigies of teenage "gurls" into little bits with an axe, but which of those two is really the most dangerous? Wildly tedious until Santa turns up and takes out the bad guys with the star from atop the Christmas tree.

All of the above 25-30 minute segments look like they were filmed in the actor's actual homes, this really is NO budget film making. That said the acting isn't nearly as terrible as you might expect it to be with some actually almost pretty good performances in Mike Wuz Here and One Foot In The Grave. Izzie Harlow isn't all that bad as Slutpira either despite her occasionally forced delivery. Top marks to the producers as well for actually giving us some Boobs and Blood with at least four completely gratuitous shower/bath scenes and bucket loads of ketchup. The writing isn't bad either with occasional instances of spot on satirical humour adrift in a sea of blood and dick jokes.

The Disc:

The 1.78:1 anamorphic image is somewhat soft but nevertheless features good detail and solid colors. The English stereo track is choppy, sounds like it was recorded with a camcorder mic really but it is consistently audible.

Extras (and there's a shitload!) include -

A commentary track featuring what seems like everybody involved in the production! Each segment has it's own separate commentary featuring variably the actors, writers, directors and producers. They sound like a friendly bunch of geeks and they have a good time yakking over their work here providing interesting anecdotes about the filming.

A wealth of behind the scenes and outtake material for each segment including the Slutpira wraparounds; collectively running around 50 minutes this is an interesting look at how the production was filmed and an oft times languorous lesson in no budget film making - bloody hell it was their own homes they were shooting in! Lots of interviews, brain farts and goofs.

Also included is a World Premiere featuretteSlutpira head off to West Virginia (I think) to show their movie on the big screen for the first time. Running at 30 minutes this was actually the most entertaining part of the entire disc for me as it's an almost bittersweet little documentary and I thought the drunk guy that hassled them outside the theatre was fucking hilarious.

And finally a 30 minute look at the gang trying to sell their movie at the Cinema Wasteland 2009 con, a few episodes of Henrique Couto's short animated web series 'Drawing A Blank' and some trailers and a music video.

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

DVD News: Sexy Timetrip Ninjas


“SEXY TIMETRIP NINJAS”

Sasuke the Ninja is tasked with finding a hidden treasure that will reestablish his clan. His only obstacle is the sexy ninja Kagero, who wants the riches for her rival clan. When they fall through a rift in time to 1980s Tokyo, they must put aside their differences and use their wits — and bodies — to survive! Academy Award® Winner Yojiro Takita (”Departures”) directs this hilarious and sexy ninja adventure!

DVD SPECS:
• Japanese Language with English Subtitles
• Widescreen Presentation
• SEXY TIMETRIP NINJAS International Trailer
• SEXY TIMETRIP NINJAS Original Japanese Art Work
• Special Feature: Interview with Ninja Historian, Dr. Alex Bay
• Still Image Slideshow
• Cast and Crew Biographies and Filmographies
• Sneak Peeks: More PINK EIGA Trailers

DVD News: The Japanese Wife Next Door: Part 2


PINK EIGA, Inc. is thrilled to announce their newest release, “THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR – PART 2,” veteran Pink Eiga director Yutaka Ikejima's (aka. 'Mr. Pink') sequel to the hit Pink Eiga, “THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR.”

“THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR – PART 2”

Every choice you make can change the course of your life. This is the premise of THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR series. Beginning exactly the same as Part One, a businessman's life is almost complete; all he needs is a wife. He meets two women... and this time he marries the rich one -- whose family just happens to be a bunch of sado-masochistic sociopaths!

Directed by ‘Mr. Pink,’ Yutaka Ikejima, and starring the sexy Yazaki Akane and with a special appearance by erotic bombshell Reiko Yamaguchi, star of part one, the JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR - PART 2 is a raunchy and bizarre erotic comedy! The film had its North American premier at the prestigious 2010 New York Asian Film Festival.

DVD SPECS:

• Japanese Language with English Subtitles
• Featurette: Interview with Director Yutaka Ikejima
• Featurette: Interview with Star Reiko Yamaguchi
• Featurette: Interview with Composer Hitomi Oba
• 5.1 Surround Sound
• Widescreen Presentation
• THE JAPANESE WIFE NEXT DOOR: Part 2 International Movie Trailers
• Cast and Crew Biographies and Filmographies
• Still Image Slideshow
• Original Japanese Artwork
• Sneak Peek: More PINK EIGA Trailers

STREET DATE: September 30th, 2010 (Pre-Release: September 14th, 2010)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

DVD Review: Lights, Camera, Dead!

Lights Camera Dead



USA 2007
Director: Tim Reaper
Writers: Monica Reaper, Tim Reaper
Starring: Wes Reid, Amy Lollo, J.C. Lira, Monica Moehring, Richard Christy, Coldon Martin, Ashby Brooks, Stephanie Caston.
DVD Released: August 20th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 77 minutes
Aspect Ratio: Letterboxed NTSC
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: SRS Cinema
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Ryan Black (Wes Reid) is an aspiring filmmaker attempting to direct his first feature; a gory horror about a couple of wannabe witches that meddle with the dark forces and end up unleashing the undead. Unfortunately he doesn't have a clue what he's doing, his lead actress has been cast for her bra size rather than her acting ability and his half-assed amateur crew are a bunch of complete morons. It doesn't help when Ryan starts berating them all either and since none of them are actually being paid it's not long before they all just give up and leave. Ryan however, with the help of his script-writer Steve (J.C. Lira) decides to ressurrect the failed project with one minor rewrite to the script - actually kill the actors and just film it! Inviting the cast and crew to a special midnight screening of what little was shot before they all quit they all assemble at a remote farm out in the sticks for a premiere they'll never forget.

Synopsis doesn't sound all that bad does it? They never do. Trouble is this is another indie cheapfest made by a bunch of guys in their backyard. They've got heart I'll give them that. An imaginatively put together title sequence is about the most visually arresting thing you'll see throughout this as it's a very amateurish production from all standpoints including the technical. The acting is of course dire which is a shame because there are a few very funny almost Clerks-like moments of dialogue and it's a pity that there isn't much more of that sharp satirical humour about the behind the scenes making of a cheap movie because it's a damn sight more fun than the z-movie horror aspect that takes over the story. But then even good writing fails miserably when spouted by terrible actors so maybe not. Unfortunately this one's also light on gore which is surely unforgivable for what appears to be touted as a low budget splatterfest. OK well there is a pugfaced actress with massive tits at least and great emphasis is put on the fact that she's going to have to do topless nudity to appear in the film within a film but alas even that small, sad, pathetic pleasure is denied us as she remains fully clothed throughout; the pre-pubescent gamerz generation have a phrase that suitably expresses my displeasure - EPIC FAIL.

The Disc:

Dodgy, soft looking, grim, letterboxed transfer. Looks like it was filmed on VHS. English 2.0 track is audible throughout and that's the best thing I can say about it .

Extras (yes there's extras!) include -

A commentary track featuring the director Tim Reaper, actress Monica Moehring, composer Mean Gene, and executive producer Jonathan Straiton - It's a friendly informal light-hearted chat, seemingly filmed in the participants living room with much alcohol to hand. Most interesting fact gleaned from this track; apparently Moehring didn't show her tits because she's a schoolteacher!

A 2nd commentary track featuring actor Richard Christy - Bit of a cheat this one as it actually only runs for 3 minutes over Christy's short scene in the movie and pretty much consists of Christy narrating what we are actually seeing.....

The Music Box - A 16 minute short film featuring Monica (no you can't see my massive tits) Moehring yet again. This was a fairly gruelling quarter of an hour home movie in which she plays a girl browsing a flea market and ends up buying a music box that appears to be covered in human skin (ala the Necronomicon) hilarity ensues........

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Saturday, September 11, 2010

DVD and Blu-Ray News: Inferno

Remember guys, Monday 13th Dario Argento's Inferno from Arrow Video will be available in stores in the UK and available to order online NOW in both DVD and Blu-Ray. It's a frankly stupendous package so go buy it!

Not convinced? Well check out the specs:



SPECIAL FEATURES:

THIS AMAZING 30th ANNIVERSARY EDITION CONTAINS:
- Reversible sleeve with original and newly commissioned art work
- Double-sided fold-out poster
- Collector’s Booklet featuring brand new writing on Inferno by Alan Jones, author of Profondo Argento

BLU-RAY DISC 1 CONTAINS:
- Brand new restoration of the film, available fully uncut for the first time in the UK
- High Definition Presentation of the film (1080p)
- Optional 5.1 DTS / Stereo / Mono audio
- Choice of original Italian and English audio

BLU-RAY DISC 1 – SPECIAL FEATURES:
- Introduction by star Daria Nicolodi (1080p)
- Dario’s Inferno (1080p)
- Acting in Hot Water: An Interview with Daria Nicolodi (1080p)
- The Other Mother: Making the Black Cat - Director Luigi Cozzi goes behind the scenes of The Black Cat, his rarely seen, totally unofficial, 1989 sequel to Inferno (1080p)
- Inferno Q&A with Irene Miracle, Keith Emerson and Tim Lucas [Blu-ray exclusive] (1080p)
- X marks the spot (1080p)

DVD DISC 2 – SPECIAL FEATURES:
- Dario Argento and Lamberto Bava on Inferno
- 'Dario Argento: An Eye for Horror' Mark Kermode narrates this documentary on Argento’s career including interviews with George A. Romero and John Carpenter
- The Complete Dario Argento Trailer Gallery [18 films]

Sunday, September 05, 2010

DVD Review: Condemned

Condemned

USA 2010
Director: Oren Shai
Writers: Oren Shai
Starring: Margaret Anne Florence, Ashlie Atkinson, Aprella.
DVD Released: 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 14 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: RockingOren.com
Region: 0 NTSC



The Film:

Female convict #1031 in a 50's prison sweats in her cell as she awaits inevitable
and fatal retribution for snitching. Having been awake for three days for fear she
will be killed in her slumber, she cuts herself to stay alert and wearily tries not
to succumb to sleep. Unfortunately a new inmate is brought to share her cell, Laura,
a charming blonde who will either be #1031's salvation or her executioner..........

A beautifully shot little homage to 70's women in prison exploitation flicks
although those b-movie classics of yesteryear were never this well put together. A
sweaty, claustrophobic, noir-like feel is evoked throughout with an excellent
performance from Margaret Anne Florence as the weary inmate. The dialogue has a
tongue in cheek melodrama to it, especially when barked by the ruby lipped bulldog
of a prison guard played with obvious relish by Ashlie Atkinson and via the
voiceover set to the groovy spaghetti western throwback soundtrack. I don't get the
opportunity to watch many short films nor do I seek them out but if the aim of such
a short feature is to leave the audience wanting more then this one was highly
successful as I would love to see a full length feature based on this effort. Taken
on it's own however it is an all too short, paranoia filled meditation on the
inevitability of death that is very much worth 14 minutes of your time.



The Disc:

Shot on Super 16 this is an excellent anamorphic transfer, vivid colours,
solid blacks, excellent transfer. The audio is clean and clear with the haunting
score balanced nicely with the dialogue and ambient soundtrack.

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Sunday, August 29, 2010

DVD Review: Lust

Lust (aka Torino centrale del vizio)



Italy 1979
Director: Bruno Vani, Renato Polselli (uncredited)
Writers: Alessandro Moretti, Renato Polselli, Bruno Vani
Starring: Rita Calderoni, Raúl Martínez, Tony Matera, Marina Daunia, Christina Hui, Emanuela Cannarsa, Albertina Capuani, Sergio Baldacchino, Mario Castagneri.

DVD Released: August 31st 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 78 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Letterboxed Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono Italian
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

So I usually end my reviews with some comments on the A/V presentation of the DVD I've watched but in this case the quality of the picture (and it's audio) affected my experience so much that I'm sticking it right up front; to say the transfer sucked donkey balls would be a massive understatement and, frankly, an insult to the burros bollocks which I can only imagine look better than this! It really does look like some bloke's discovered a mossy old European beta max tape in his waterlogged basement and then proceeded to transfer it to VHS and then to DVD, after letting his dog urinate on it first of course. It. Really. Is. That. Bad.

Phew, OK, now that's out of the way all that's left for me to do is tell you just how fucking awful the actual film itself is........

Helen (Rita Calderoni), a femme fatale with a nebulous mysterious past has fallen for a strapping young Italian bloke and wants to give up her former life to be with him. First however she wants to be honest with her fiance about just how much of a fucked up nutjob she really is; cue scenes of Helen with her lesbian tennis instructor, working as a drug mule and getting gang-banged by a bunch of bikers as her poor beau watches. But he's willing to accept her for what she is (you what!?) and Helen turns over a new leaf, only to suddenly vanish right after the wedding, d'oh! We follow said bloke as he tries to discover what happened to Helen; was she kidnapped by the shady organisation she used to work for? Did she just change her mind about the marriage? Or perhaps she forgot to try bestiality and has gone to satisfy her curiosity on that front as well..........

Actually writing that all out it makes it sound like an interestingly bonkers 70's spaghetti z-flick, believe me it isn't. A famous director once said about watching film 'I'd rather be confused for 20 minutes than bored for 5 minutes' well he should try and sit through the first 20 minutes of this one and he'd soon change his mind. I had no idea whatsoever what was happening - seemingly random images are played while Italian narration drones on in voice over about 'Helen, where is Helen, one moment here, the next she was gone, but I see her everywhere' wait, who, what? The basic plot of the film is painstakingly pieced together by the viewer after about 50 minutes of turgid indecipherable non-linear almost experimental onscreen pap and this isn't Memento folks, there isn't an intriguing twist or any hook at all to get the viewer interested or invested in the characters. The acting is uniformly awful, the sleaze factor is quite high with 70's style violence, rape, nudity, etc.

Aha apparently this is a "super-rare, almost lost film by Bruno Vani and co-directed by the late, great Renato Polselli. Mastered from impossible-to-find materials, this is a fair quality print." Fair quality, I had a chuckle over that one! So it's of some kind of significance to fans of Polselli presumably, good luck finding any of those!

The Disc: 

Dodgy letterboxed widescreen picture. VHS tape flaws all over the place, blown-out contrast, washed-out colours that make it seem like you're watching the image through a blizzard. Lots of print damage and debris. Mono Italian audio track is muffled, tinny, distorted and prone to drop-outs. Removable English subtitles are provided with hilarious translation errors throughout, so that's a bonus!

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

DVD Review: Uppercut Man

Uppercut Man (aka The Opponent, aka Qualcuno pagherà)



Italy 1987
Director: Sergio Martino
Writers: Robert Brodie Booth, Maria Perrone Capano, Luciano Martino, Sergio Martino, Sauro Scavolini
Starring: Daniel Greene, Giuliano Gemma, Keely Shaye Smith, Ernest Borgnine, Mary Stavin, Bill Wohrman, James Warring, A.J. Duhe, Herb Goldstein, Ruben Rabasa.
DVD Released: August 31st 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 94 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Full Frame
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English, Dolby Digital Stereo Italian
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Lumbering meatbag Bobby Mulligan (Daniel Greene) is a wannabe pro-boxer waiting for his big shot. In the meantime he has a tendency to get himself into street fights with local bums at every turn, presumably his neanderthal features and general henchman type appearance tend to rub people the wrong way. Even Bobby's girlfriend's father Victor (the amiable Ernest Borgnine) can't stand him to the extent that the old guy slaps him silly when he sees Bobby hugging his daughter. Poor guy. Hang on though; he saves local mobster Duranti's trashy alcoholic moll Gilda from a back-alley gang-raping and suddenly he's in with a shot at his first ever professional fight; Duranti (Giuliano Gemma) being a fight promoter as well as a ruthless Bond-villain style baddie. All goes well for a while as Bobby wins fight after fight. Now he's in with a shot at the heavyweight championship but dumbass Bobby is seduced by aforementioned trashy slutbag Gilda and gets caught with his finger in the VD honey-jar by Duranti. As punishment the mobster orders Bobby to throw a fight, but of course at the last minute Hulk get mad and win fight. So begins a cycle of sadistic revenge between Duranti and Bobby that will escalate to murder and bitch-slapping's aplenty...........

A spaghetti-boxing flick? The Italians were a bit slow to catch on with the Rocky formula as by 1987 Stallone was already on Rocky IV but nevertheless here we are. Prolific spaghetti-meister Sergio Martino is on directorial duties here, happy working in whatever genre got him paid, Martino had been most successful with giallo murder mystery thrillers that usually starred popular genre actress Edwige Fenech (married to his brother Luciano back in the day) but you may also recognise him as director of Mountain of the Cannibal God and 2019: After the Fall of New York. The acting is terrible here with Daniel Greene awkwardly shuffling from one scene to the next without an ounce of charisma and sporting a forehead that surely must keep his shoes dry in the rain, there's also a career worst performance from Borgnine. The one exception is, astonishingly enough, the imported Italian salami that is genre stalwart Giuliano Gemma; his English is excellent and he actually plays a compelling villain that really makes the cro-magnon boxer he's up against seem all the more unlikely and unworthy of being his nemesis.

All the boxing genre cliches are ticked; old trainer that dies, fixed fights, professional rivalry, career threatening injury, star-crossed lovers and don't forget the training montage! What makes this one slightly more interesting is the addition of the organized crime element to the storyline and the almost sadistic instances of violence more European in tone than was popular in the USA at the time. The score is ridiculously bombastic and orchestral with a few pop/rock numbers accompanying the training montages in an attempt to (I can only assume) replicate the soundtrack success of the Rocky flicks but here simply make you pee yourself laughing at the unfortunate lyrics.

I'll be honest - I enjoyed this flick! It's cheesy, it's terrible, it's unintentionally hilarious but by god it's entertaining if you like this kind of 80's Z-movie guff!


The Disc:

Full frame transfer, looks like it may be sourced from a VHS due to some softening of the image here and there but it's a pretty good transfer overall. Colours look well saturated and the image is clean and well detailed. There are two audio options available; the Dolby Digital Stereo English track is clear and well balanced, the Dolby Digital Stereo Italian mix sounds a little tinny but then as no English subtitles are provided it's unlikely anyone outside Italy will be listening to it anyway!

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

DVD Review: Naked Obsession

Naked Obsession (aka Spiando Marina, aka The Smile Of The Fox)



Italy 1992
Director: Sergio Martino
Writers: Sergio Martino, Piero Regnoli
Starring: Deborah Caprioglio, Steve Bond, Sharon Twomey, Leonardo Treviglio, Pedro Loeb, Raffaella Offidani, Raffaele Mottola, Martín Coria, Roberto Ricci.
DVD Released: August 31st 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 99 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English, Dolby Digital Stereo Italian
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Mark Derrick (Steve Bond) is a US hitman that heads to Argentina on a contract, they need an out-of-towner and expert sniper for this hit. His employers also tell him that he's been hired because they know he will be well motivated given that his target is a member of the drug cartel that caused Derrick so much grief in his former life as a Miami NARC. Cue lots of sweaty sleepless nights as the hitman drinks himself into a stupor and relives the death of his wife and young son over and over. Luckily for him though his employers have set him up in a furnished flat that just happens to share a balcony with uber-slut Marina (Deborah Caprioglio) and it's not long before Derrick has fallen deeply in lust with his big-knockered neighbor to the extent that he starts to follow her all over town for a quick shag in random public places. True lust is never easy though and it soon becomes apparent that Marina is beholden to a dangerous drug lord but what are the chances it's gonna be the same bloke Derrick's been hired to snuff.....

The runaway spaghetti freight train that is the career of Sergio Martino continued into the 90's with this low-rent erotic noir thriller. The story is actually somewhat compellingly told in that things aren't simply spelled out for the audience with certain elements revealed in excellent cheesy little flashbacks that seem to be from another film almost - one about a good cop gone bad and his attempts at redemption. As for the acting; in the 90's when you couldn't get any of the B-list actors you wanted for your thriller you hired Jack Scalia, when you couldn't get Scalia I'm assuming you phoned up Steve Bond. And here he is in all his poor-man's-Scalia, unshaven, alcoholic, buffed abs glory. To be fair he actually isn't all that bad as the horny hitman, he pulls it all off quite admirably given the lines he has to work with, not to mention the massive tits he has to fondle and the pouty faced cheeseball of an 'actress' attached to them. Deborah Caprioglio really only has two things going for her and one of them isn't her acting ability. She is however unintentionally hilarious as Derrick's all singing, all moaning, snake loving, easy laying neighbor; Debbie certainly ain't a shy girl!

It's essentially a two person movie as well, with Bond and Caprioglio pretty much the only substantial characters in the film and Bond spends most of the flick wasted on J&B and staring at the walls of his apartment, there's very little action considering this was set-up as a hitman story. Oh and the bloody awful soundtrack sounds like a bunch of random gameshow themes have been merged together into one unholy symphony of 90's pop pain. My enthusiasm for this one started to wane at around the one hour mark when it became apparent that this hitman just wasn't going to actually 'hit' anyone anytime soon. That said it is a fun little Z-movie thriller if a tad overlong in my admittedly jaded opinion.

The Disc:

Very nice anamorphic transfer, colours look well saturated and the image is crisp, clean and well detailed overall with accurate flesh tones and solid blacks. There are some very minor instances of debris and print damage. The stereo English track is clean and clear with only a couple of noticeable instances of background noise/distortion. The Italian stereo track sounds a little muffled/tinny but then as seems to be the norm for Mya there aren't any English subs included, so it's not like anyone is gonna listen to it!

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

DVD Review: The Monster and the Ape

The Monster And The Ape



USA 1945
Director: Howard Bretherton
Writers: Royal K. Cole, Sherman L. Lowe
Starring: Robert Lowery, George Macready, Ralph Morgan, Carole Mathews, Willie Best, Jack Ingram, Anthony Warde, Ted Mapes, Eddie Parker, Stanley Price, Bud Osborne, Ray Corrigan, Charles King, Kenneth MacDonald DVD Released: July 27th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 450 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Full Frame
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Cheezy Flicks Entertainment
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

An elderly but bright-eyed, white-haired boffin; Professor Franklin Arnold has created The Metalogen Man - a remote-controlled robot with incredible strength. Ultimately the prof intends to mass produce his creation and thus put an end to manual labour and eventually those pesky pinko commie bastards but before he can even get the ball rolling his colleagues are murdered by an ape. Yes, an ape. A huge gorilla named Thor to be more accurate, trained by evil genius Ernst, who wants the robot for his own nefarious purposes and so promptly steals it. It's up to the prof with the help of Ken Morgan (a bloke that represents the company that helped make the robot) and the prof's daughter Babs to get The Metalogen Man back and save the USA from megalomaniacal Ernst!

When I popped this one in my DVD player I thought; 'great, a nice little short 40's b-movie sci-fi'. Turns out it's actually a 15 chapter, seven and a half hour, 40's movie serial, d'oh! If you're a fan of 40's serials then you'll know what to expect here - it's a Flash Gordon, Superman, [insert random hero] in peril, cliffhanging series of stories. Each chapter lasts about 20-30 minutes and they were shown in movie theatres each week in conjunction with a feature film. For pedants this one happens to be the 26th serial released by Columbia Pictures, so they were pretty much in their groove by this point. Each episode features at least one high-octane fist fight, plus a random action scene, kidnapping or the like. In place of a superhero we have to make do with hard-boiled sales rep (er...yeah I think that's what he is basically) Ken Morgan as he faces off week after week against Ernst's 'evil empire' and his army of three thugs and a trained gorilla named Thor.

Let's face it this is the kind of thing Mystery Science Theater 3000 used to take the piss out of, and indeed I kept expecting Mike Nelson and Tom Servo to pop up in the corner and fire snide remarks at the screen. That's not to say it doesn't have a certain charm, it is fun to watch in small doses. Especially entertaining is the dodgy acting, shoddy sets and the obvious rushed takes where everyone flubs their lines and no-one quite seems to know what the fuck they're doing. Also the quaint outdated science and casual racism makes for interesting viewing; with an African/American janitor named Flash (played by genre stalwart Willie Best) that makes Jar Jar Binks look like a spokesman for the NAACP - "them cops done grillt me like a poke chop" is the kind of guff he's likely to spout plus he has a tendency to call the robot a rabbit, mind you everyone else in the movie calls it a robit so what the hell. And it's always a good laugh waiting to see how they will attempt to dispatch Ken in the final moments of each chapter; he's electrocuted, goes over a cliff in his car, rolled into a furnace, blown up, squashed by a boulder, thrown into a fiery pit, squished between moving walls, blown up again, drowned, electrocuted again, involved in a fatal car crash, involved in a fatal plane crash and my personal favourite; shot by a gorilla with a handgun. So given the relatively tight time frame of the whole series it's basically like a 1940's version of 24 only with a slightly more believable plot line.

Oh and the robit's crap, it's got a face like a constipated Grace Jones impersonator.


The Disc:

The transfer actually looks pretty good given it's age. It's somewhat soft and suffers most during the night scenes. Print damage and the like varies from episode to episode with only a couple being noticeably poor quality. The audio suffers from occasional hiss/crackle but not distractingly bad.

Extras are limited to a few trailers for other Cheezy Flicks DVD releases such as similar 1940's movie serials; G-Men Vs The Black Dragon, King Of The Rocketmen and Zombies Of The Stratosphere - please have mercy and don't send them to me to review, thanks! ;^)

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Saturday, August 07, 2010

42ND STREET MEMORIES: THE RISE AND FALL OF AMERICA’S MOST DANGEROUS STREET

Not content with just doing very cool DVD and Blu-Ray extras, High Rising Productions have a new documentary on 42nd Street in production and YOU can be involved!



Director Calum Waddell states:

"42ND STREET MEMORIES focuses on a group of filmmakers, distributors, actors and writers—all of them there and part of The Deuce—speaking about the area at the height of its powers,” Waddell tells Fango. “We have a cast of 20 great names involved, including FANGORIA’s own Tony Timpone; directors Joe Dante and Frank Henenlotter; cult actress Debbie Rochon; adult star and performer Veronica Hart; and producers/distributors such as DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN’s Sam Sherman and DR. BUTCHER’s Terry Levene, the latter giving his first on-camera interview.”

This is where you, the readers of DVD Trash can help -

"We need images and footage,” Waddell says. “So I want to put out an open call to your readers and watchers to help us and pass this message along. We’ve obtained some great clips from various movies and collections, but we want this documentary to be as good and strong as possible. 42ND STREET MEMORIES represents the results of my own investigation into why the street’s legend remains. So if this may be of interest to anyone and you want to help a great documentary be even better, your help would be eternally appreciated. Please spread the word and help us make this, the only documentary done on this landmark street, the final word on the area and its continued appeal! Everyone will be personally credited and thanked in the film for their efforts, and I swear that when 42ND STREET MEMORIES hits the festival circuit, if it’s in your area, I’ll see you get a ticket!”

Sound good?

If you can help in anyway, then email me at Nick@highrisingproductions.com

Thursday, August 05, 2010

DVD Review: GOLD: Before Woodstock, Beyond Reality


Gold: Before Woodstock, Beyond Reality (40th Anniversary Edition)


USA 1968
Director: Bob Levis
Writers: Mark Leake
Starring: Del Close, Garry Goodrow, Caroline Parr, Sam Ridge.
DVD Released: July 27th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 90 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 4:3 Full Frame
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Wild Eye Releasing
Region: 0 NTSC

“Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play Frisbee! I hate goddamn hippies!” -- Eric Cartman

The Film:

Uptight killjoy square cop Captain Harold Jinks(Garry Goodrow) doesn't approve of the local hippies in an Old West-style rural community romping about naked, so he zealously enforces various strict laws to ban public nudity. It's up to loopy long-haired rebel Hawk (Del Close) to save the townspeople from Jinks' oppressive reign.

OK so I stole that synopsis from IMDB because frankly I sat through this offbeat, hallucinatory, avant-garde oddity of a film and I couldn't tell you what the hell it was about other than an excuse for a bunch of folks to get really, really high and roll around naked in the mud. I could say the story is existential but that would just be straight lying, there is no story. Some of the actors are in old west costumes, some in 60's army gear, others in zoot suits but ultimately they will all just get naked. 60's counterculture it may be but a watchable movie it ain't. Directed by or rather organized by filmmaker Bob Lewis in 1968 and not given a USA release but eventually released in British theatres in 1972 it has pretty much been relegated to obscurity. The film's main claim to fame are a handful of songs by MC5 (Motor City 5) recorded for it's soundtrack, the last recordings the band would make before splitting up in 1972, making it something of a collectors item/rarity for fans. The film's main star is the father of improvisational comedy Del Close, beloved by his students which included the likes of John Belushi, Bill Murray, John Candy, etc - he also had a hand in the likes of SNL, SCTV and Upright Citizens Brigade so it's a damn shame really that this lame flick is pretty much his biggest starring role in a movie.

The Disc: 

The remastered full screen transfer looks excellent considering it's age and the relative obscurity of the content. The audio again has been remastered and it's a superb track.

Extras include -

A commentary track featuring producer/organizer Bob Levis and actor Garry Goodrow; a friendly chatty bunch of old hippies that have a good time letting us know what went on behind the scenes and just how incredibly high most of the cast and crew were during the shoot, what a shocker.

Another commentary featuring a couple of founding members of the comedy troupe Upright Citizens Brigade. Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts were friends and associates of Del Close and they primarily discuss his life and career here, occasionally stopping to mock the onscreen action.

A 60 minute Bob Levis interview from NYC cable public access TV. Filmed in 2008 this is a surprisingly heavy political discussion between two guys that (admittedly) know what they are talking about but really do seem to think the entire world is watching them in their little audience-free studio as they debate with sledgehammer seriousness issues which are so brain-meltingly tedious that I was ready to give the movie itself another watch just to get away from them.

A 10 minute interview, also filmed recently, with Garry Goodrow, an amiable old fella that has worked with everyone in Hollywood and delights in trashing the likes of Mickey Rooney at every opportunity.

Also included are a few trailers for other Wild Eye Releasing DVDs.


It's not often I find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with a fat little racist cartoon character but I'm with Eric Cartman on this one!

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Sunday, August 01, 2010

DVD Review: Isle of the Damned

Isle Of The Damned



USA 2008
Director: Mark Colegrove
Writers: Mark Leake
Starring: Larry Gamber, Peter Crates, Jared Books, Oliver Krekel, Jamaal Mahmud, Dustin Edwards.
DVD Released: March 31st 2009
Cert: NR
Running Time: 85 minutes
Aspect Ratio: Anamorphic NTSC
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo English
Subtitles: N/A
Distributor: Dire Wit Films
Region: 1 NTSC

The Film:


" Forced to flee Italy in exile over the public outrage caused by his film, Pleasures Of The Damned, filmmaker Antonello Giallo sought refuge in the jungles of South America to complete his follow-up picture. As production neared completion on Isle Of The Damned a shipment of the work print was intercepted by Argentinean authorities. Upon review they issued an arrest warrant for Giallo under suspicions of abuse of the native peoples. Furthermore Giallo was ordered to produce the actors of the film in court to prove that they were still alive. Before the trial could begin Antonello Giallo fled the country.

The restorationists of this film are proud to bring you, for the first time ever, Antonello Giallo's original vision, uncut and remastered. "

So goes the text intro to this 2008, cheap-as-chips, shot in someone's backyard, parody of all your favourite jungle cannibal flicks of the 70's and 80's. Mildly treated with some low budget FX to make it look like a grainy lost film from 30 years ago it really doesn't. But then the actors in this flick are wearing 70's comedy moustaches and wigs ala the Beastie Boys' Sabotage video and the entire dialogue track is fake dubbed, with a deep african american voice for the main diminutive white protagonist. So I'd say realism wasn't of paramount concern to these fellas, which is fine with me because despite my usual tendency to run a mile from anything that looks this shoddy I soon found myself laughing along to the childish, foul-mouthed, over the top and sick as fuck antics on display.

The film's plot, what little of it there is, concerns private investigator Jack (Larry Gamber) and his 'ward' Billy (Peter Crates) joining a group of treasure hunters on their way to an unexplored cannibal island in search of the lost gold of Marco Polo. Pretty much as soon as they arrive at their destination the flesh-eating locals have attacked; buggering and killing (not necessarily in that order) most of the crew. Jack and Billy however are saved by a mysterious professor, Alexis (Keith Tveit Langsdorf), and his mute Japanese assassin/manservant Cain (Dustin Edwards) who apparently live in a mansion on the island. With the help of the prof and his servants, Jack sets out to rescue whatever might be left of his crew from the cannibals and perhaps locate that gold if he gets a chance.

The script hits all the relevant cues from the spaghetti cannibal genre and much of the film's enjoyment comes from spotting which particular flick is being referenced at each twisted slash and turn. The most obvious nods are to Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox and Eaten Alive but you might also pick up homages to Doctor Butcher MD, Zombie Flesh Eaters or any number of similar classics. The gore is turned up to 11 here and mixed together with some almost John Waters inspired shit-eating and basic toilet humour that will either leave you shaking your head in wonderment or secretly thinking; I could have made this. Gut-tearing, foetus-eating, a plethora of anal rapings and even a feast involving iguana semen slathered over monkey meat - you have been warned! But for all it's sophomoric humour I still found it watchable. I guess the basic premise can begin to wear thin over 80 minutes but it all depends on your tolerance for low budget filmmaking and in this case your love of dodgy old cannibal flicks.

The Disc: 

Anamorphic transfer looks fine, keeping in mind it's been fucked about with to make it seem as though it's a lost 16mm relic, the colours are strong, picture a little soft. English 2.0 audio is clean and clear.

Extras include -

A 'fake' commentary track featuring The Insultor (aka the dubbed african/american voice of Jack) who's brought his cousin Clarence along for the ride. Obviously a piss take in itself the duo seem fairly drunk and appear to have no idea what the hell they are watching and after about 45 minutes of cannibalism and anal rape they've had enough and just leave. Don't expect any info on the production here folks!

Paul Joyce's score can be accessed as MP3 files by playing the disc on your PC. And it's a pretty good little 'spoof score' mimicing the jaunty synth-pop numbers that infested these classic uber-violent productions.

Luigi Giallo Interview - a 5 minute 'fake' interview with the son of imaginary director Antonella Giallo. A bit of a recluse and a very emotionally scarred individual due in no small part to his father apparently selling his little boy's arse in order to fund his movie. More puerile stuff here, doesn't mean it's not funny tho!

The Shameless Art Of Self Promotion - a 6 minute featurette following the Dire Wit Films crew at a New Jersey horror film convention.

Trailers for Post Modern, Pleasures Of The Damned and Isle Of The Damned.

And finally a 30 second "Message From Professor Livingstine" in which we are assured that all the cannibalism in the film is in fact genuine and we are told to "Please enjoy the film......even though it's full of real cannibalism".

Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Trailer: Machete (Red Band)



Steven Seagal - Check
Robert De Niro - Check
Jessica Alba - Check
Jessical Alba stabbing a Luchador - Check
Danny Trejo stabbing everyone - Check, now I need to see this movie!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

DVD Review: Sandok

Sandok (AKA La Montagna di Luce)
























Italy 1965
Director: Umberto Lenzi
Writer: Fulvio Gicca Palli
Starring: Richard Harrison, Luciana Gilli, Wilbert Bradley, Daniele Vargas, Andrea Scotti, Nerio Bernardi, Nazzareno Zamperla, Giovanni Cianfriglia, Dakar.
DVD Released: June 29th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 87 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono Italian
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Alan Foster (Richard Harrison) is a suave British thief hiding out in India. While staying with the Maharaja he gets shitfaced and loses a million rupee in a game of cards. The rajah wants his cash or Alan gets a bullet in the face so the thief has no choice but to try and steal the biggest diamond in India; "The Mountain Of Light" which sits on the forehead of a massive statue worshipped by hundreds and guarded by an army. Oh and surrounded by a moat containing a crocodile, naturally.

Given the only other Umberto Lenzi films I've seen involve people getting their genitals cut off and eaten by cannibalistic natives I was surprised to find myself watching a family friendly adventure flick here. Well, as long as your family speaks Italian and doesn't mind the racism inherent in a film that must have used up Europe's entire supply of boot polish to make it's Caucasian cast look slightly ethnic. Apparently this is Lenzi's 3rd Sandok film in three years, the previous two featuring Steve Reeves in the main role. It's a kind of Sinbad/Tarzan knock-off with sequences that could have inspired Indiana Jones; Alan Foster has a habit of just shooting the natives coming at him with swords. The film moves along at a nice pace, never boring, a couple of nice twists keep things interesting as does the relatively nicely shot location footage. Richard Harrison is entertaining enough as the musclebound protagonist - veteran of over 100 films in the spaghetti industry he was an American that couldn't get a starring role in Hollywood so jumped at the chance to work in Europe and never looked back. Famously it was Harrison that suggested Clint Eastwood to Sergio Leone when he was looking for a 'Man With No Name'. Eagle eyed genre fans will also spot Dakar from Zombi 2 and Dr. Butcher M.D. in a small role as a heavy and Italian sexpot Luciana Gilli as a blacked up Indian belly dancer that Foster inexplicably falls madly in love with near the end of the film.

Mildly entertaining is the best I can say about it - still it's a bit of an odd movie to be released on the Mya label, are they doing PG-rated spaghetti adventures now then? Oh and another drinking game presents itself; down a shot every time someone says 'Mountain Of Light' and try not to spill your drink every time Foster proclaims 'you dirty fakir'!


The Disc:

2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer looks quite good overall: strong vivid colours, some softening of the picture in the darker scenes. Audio is a mono mix in Italian; clean and clear, the English subs are free of errors.


Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Friday, July 16, 2010

DVD Review: Love Games

Love Games (AKA Sette ragazze di classe)



Spain/Italy 1979
Director: Paul Lezy (Pedro Lazaga)
Writer: Tulio Demicheli
Starring: Janet Agren, Nadiuska, Alberto de Mendoza, Paolo Giusti, Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Adriana Russo, Beatrice Giorgi, Bentley Bosco, Patrizia Basso.
DVD Released: June 29th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 87 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.77:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono Italian
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Following the adventures of a group of seven criminal masterminds/high class hookers as they blaze a trail of grand larceny across Europe from Spain to Italy's Amalfi coast. Along the way they'll impersonate the police, army officers, famous models, British royalty, porn stars and even an alien from the planet Eros - all in the pursuit of making a shitload of cash.

Ever wondered what a cross between Ocean's 11 and Sex And The City might look like? Nope neither have I, but the 1970's Italian sex comedy film industry provides, whether you like it or not! A hopelessly silly tale of beautiful women conning aging rich businessmen out of their ill-gotten gains. Unfortunately the director/writers forgot to bring the funny amidst all the slap sticky over plotted scams and shenanigans. Low on sleaze as well as laughs there's really little to recommend in this picture other than a morbid fascination with what an Italian version of UK TV's Hustle might have looked like in the late 70's. There are a few familiar genre faces in the cast including Eaten Alive's Janet Agren but for the most part it is populated by unknowns and deservedly so.

Director Pedro Lazaga was a ridiculously prolific filmmaker and made a record number of turkeys over his 4 decades or so in the business but this was his very last due to his shuffling off this mortal coil at the age of 61 the same year it was released. The score is actually the best thing about the film; composed by Fabio Frizzi, most fondly remembered perhaps for his collaborations with Fulci on The Beyond, Zombi 2, City of the Living Dead, etc.

The Disc:

1.77:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer is bloody atrocious! It's a VHS source with muted colours and a terrible fuzzy picture. Very disappointing. Audio is a mono mix in Italian, no complaints on this score it's clean and clear, the English subs are good overall with only the odd grammatical inconsistency here and there.


Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

DVD Review: Submission of a Woman

Submission of a Woman (AKA Al calar della sera)




Italy 1992
Director: Alessandro Lucidi
Writer: Alessandro Lucidi
Starring: Daniela Poggi, Gianluca Favilla, Paolo Lorimer, Cecilia Luci, Anna Orso, Andrea Ward.
DVD Released: June 29th 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 87 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1 Anamorphic Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Stereo Italian
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Mya Communication
Region: 0 NTSC

The Film:

Luisa (Daniela Poggi) is an Italian model and actress. Somewhat disillusioned with her work she yearns for roles that demand more of her than the ability to look hot in lingerie. Especially as she now has a husband and a baby at home to look after. Unfortunately Luisa has caught the attention of a dangerous stalker that has already brutally killed at least one victim. This psychopath (Paolo Lorimer) follows Luisa and watches her from a distance but when she heads home to her remote farm in the country he sees his opportunity to strike and a romantic weekend getaway becomes a terrifying ordeal of terror and survival.........

At least that's the kind of hyperbole I'd write on the back of the DVD box to get some poor sucker to rent it! In reality this is a competent Italian TV movie thriller that is let down primarily by it's deathly dull first half. For about the first 45 minutes we simply watch Poggi as she goes about her day, from a trip to the supermarket to getting her car serviced to meeting her agent - it just goes on, and on, and on. Now she may be a fine looking woman but this isn't Haneke or the Dardennes directing here, there truly is nothing drawing the viewer into the story through these scenes. The conceit being I suppose that we are supposed to be wary of all the men she bumps into during the course of her travels in that one of them might be the stalker we briefly saw kill a woman in the film's opening moments, but really it's just tedious beyond belief.

The film's second half however switches gears with a full on home invasion, a couple of murders and a violent rape thrown in for good measure. The film from this point on is actually very well put together and tensely acted. Poggi and Lorimer are very good in their respective roles with a psychological as well as physical game of cat and mouse developing between the two. It's a pity we have to wade through the turgid swamp that is the first half of the movie really because the second half barrels along at a good pace and even throws in a couple of unexpected and rather entertaining twists.

Written and directed by Alessandro Lucidi who was (and still is at the age of 60+) mainly an editor (notables include The Designated Victim, Terror Express, etc) this was his 3rd and final attempt at directing and that pretty much says it all really.

A strangely bloodless and very average 90's Italian TV thriller then, go forth and rent...or not.


The Disc:

1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer looks very good indeed; strong colours, healthy flesh tones, excellent contrast and a crisp picture. Audio is a stereo mix in Italian; clean and clear, the English subs are free of errors.


Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

DVD Review: Ninja Pussy Cat

Ninja Pussy Cat



Japan 2003
Dir: Hiroyuki Kawasaki
Starring: Mashiro, Tomotake Shigematsu, Yoko Satomi, Takahiro Nomura, Miyuki Konno, Hiroyuki Kawasaki.
DVD Released: 1st June 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 61 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Non-Anamorphic NTSC
Audio: Japanese DD2.0, Japanese 5.1 Surround
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Pink Eiga
Region: 0 NTSC


The Film:

In 16th Century Japan rival clans Iga and Fuma fight it out for control of the Shogunate. Having come across some info about the illegitimacy of the Iga Shogun's heir the leader of the Fuma clan is unceremoniously killed by Hattori Hanzo and his ninja assassins. Fuma's head ninja survives however and sets out to avenge his master's death and, er, shag his daughter if he gets a chance. Yes it's Pink Eiga's take on the traditional Japanese samurai/ninja flick crossed with a female revenge thriller so don't worry about the boring old plot. The standard silly ninja magic tricks are dialled up to eleven and given an erotic spin; 'Ninja Arts: Hypnotic Kiss' proclaims one naughty ninja as he delivers a mesmerising smooch. But that's nothing compared to the 'Ninja Arts: Venus Flytrap' technique, think Goldeneye's Xenia Onatopp, only a bit more hardcore, ouch! This is the art of Kunoichi you see, highly trained female warriors who practise the mystical Sexual Ninja Arts. They answer only to mascara wearing lethal ladyboy Hattori Hanzo - a sick little freak that gets his jollies S&M style, hypnotising women into assassinating their lovers "She's my sexual assassin and she doesn't even know it" he cackles.

It's another over the top, bizarre entry in the Pink Eiga series that I've come to know and love, well, bravely endure anyway. This one is somewhat lacking in tongue-in-cheek humour however and suffers for that. It's a very po-faced and serious period piece with all the funnies coming from the absurd sexual martial arts on display rather than the performances. That said it is only around 60 minutes in length (as is the norm for Pinkies) so it barrels along at a good pace and doesn't really get a chance to outstay it's welcome. The sheer variety and versatility of filmmaking apparent in these little flicks continues to surprise me almost as much as the weird sexual shenanigans on display. Shot in just 3 days this apparently was the very first lady ninja/samurai Pink Eiga and it spawned an entire sub-genre of imitators, I'm not sure I'd seek them out in abundance but I'd certainly like to see a couple more released on this label.

Watch out for the truly outstanding 'Ninja Arts: Honeypot Hell' technique, it'll take your breath away, literally!


The Disc: 

If you've seen any of Pink Eiga's previous releases then you know what to expect here - it's another soft and altogether ropey 1.85:1 non-anamorphic transfer with hard-matted English subtitles. Standard servicable 2.0 Japanese language audio mix plus a very similar 5.1 mix.

Here's where Pink Eiga shine though - Extras:

Introduction to the film with Director Hiroyuki Kawasaki and Actress Yoko Satomi - a short, 4 minute, intro in which the couple briefly discuss their working relationship and making Ninja Pussy Cat.

Interview with Actress Yoko Satomi - a 13 minute conversation with the charming Miss Satomi in which the veteran of over 100 Pink Eiga flicks (since 1998) candidly talks about her start in the business, her previous roles and eventually her experiences on the set of Ninja Pussy Cat.

Interview with Director Hiroyuki Kawasaki - a 15 minute chat with Kawasaki that takes us on an exhaustive look at his career in Pink Eiga (21 straight to DVD and 2 theatrical flicks) also discussed is his time as an actor and his role as the self-proclaimed master of lady ninja movies.

Text based bios about the actors and director, an original theatrical trailer, photo gallery and a trailers for the rest of Pink Eiga's catalogue.


Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

DVD Review: Deep Contact

Deep Contact



Japan 1998
Dir: Yukio Kitazawa
Starring: Kazushi Ikeda, Seiji Nakamitsu, Riri Kuramoto, Motoko Sasaki, Myu Asou, Shoko Kudo, Kazuhiko Nakamura, Jun Kawai, Kenichi Kanbe.
DVD Released: 15th June 2010
Cert: NR
Running Time: 61 minutes
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Non-Anamorphic NTSC
Audio: Japanese DD2.0
Subtitles: English
Distributor: Pink Eiga
Region: 0 NTSC


The Film:

There are rumours of a comet coming to destroy the earth, the streets are deserted except for feckless gambler Wataru (Kazushi Ikeda) legging it through downtown Tokyo, he owes money to a loan shark and the thumb-breakers have come a-callin. Lucky for him however he is deftly kidnapped by a group of red-baseball-capped weirdos who take him to a secret complex. A strange hospital in which the nurses don't wear panties and everyone seems to be humping constantly. Dr. Ohora (Seiji Nakamitsu), the nutter running the place, explains to Wataru that this is the earth's only hope of survival; the power of Sexual Psychokinesis! Yup, the psychokinetic power unleashed during orgasm will be harnessed in an attempt to divert the deadly comet by a minuscule degree in the hopes it will bypass our planet. These dudes are fucking to save the planet. Despite the allure of Ohora’s most promising candidate; Ikuko (Riri Kuramoto, a virginal young sexpot that has intense psychokinetic orgasms that can make an iron ball that weighs a ton float off the ground) Wataru still wants paying for his 'efforts', $100,000 should get him good and hard apparently. As the big day approaches hundreds of psychokinetic facilities all over the world prepare thousands of couples for a synchronized orgy that will culminate in the release of the largest amount of sexual energy ever witnessed, but will it be enough to save civilisation from destruction?

Honestly I keep thinking the Japanese can't possibly surprise me anymore, I've seen more than my fair share (and more than yours combined I'll bet) of Nipponese neurosis via the likes of Miike and Tsukamoto all the way back to Suzuki and Pinky Violence, but damn if Pink Eiga don't just go ahead and release a 12 year old spoof/rip-off of Deep Impact that makes my jaw drop at the sheer perverse absurdity on display. The world is in crisis but fear not for the Japanese have a plan! Comet coming to hit the earth? Let's fuck! Apparently this was the first sci-fi tinged Pink Eiga production and despite all the throwback 70's style sex shenanigans you can't help but be amused by the combined audacity and insanity of what you are watching. The truly odd thing is that certain scenes in between all the slapstick and furious shagging evoke the existential low budget sci-fi melancholy of classics like The Quiet Earth - no shit! As always then Pink Eiga DVD grants us another peek into the weird, wacky and often very funny world of low budget Japanese exploitation cinema. Twisted, perverted bloody genius!


The Disc:

Same old, same old from Pink Eiga; soft, non-progressive and ropey sums up the 1.85:1 non-anamorphic transfer with hard-matted English subtitles. 2.0 Japanese language audio mix is clean and clear.

Cast and crew video commentary; featuring Director Yukio Kitazawa, writer/producer Akira Fukuhara, actress Motoko Sasaki and actor Seiji Nakamitsu. The screen splits into two horizontal slices for this nice little extra with the bottom half featuring a round table of aforementioned participants. A friendly bunch that get all nostalgic watching a film they obviously had a great time making. Lots of informative anecdotes, laughter and behind the scenes stories here. Japanese audio with hard matted English subs.

Interview with director Yukio Kitazawa; a 13 minute chat with Yukio touching on all aspects of the production plus his experiences of working in the Pink Eiga industry. Candid and interesting. Japanese audio with hard matted English subs.

Plus the usual text based bios about the actors and director, an original theatrical trailer, photo gallery and a trailers for the rest of Pink Eiga's catalogue.


Review by Giuseppe Rijitano

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Friday, July 02, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

DVD and Blu-Ray News: Inferno


Coming on August 2nd from Arrow Video in the UK is Dario Argento's Inferno on both DVD and Blu-Ray. Once again, my colleagues and I from High Rising Productions have had a hand in the plentiful extras so take a look at what to expect:

THIS AMAZING 30th ANNIVERSARY EDITION CONTAINS:

- Reversible sleeve with original and newly commissioned art work

- Double-sided fold out Poster

- Collector’s Booklet featuring brand new writing on Inferno by Alan Jones, author of Profondo Argento

- High Definition Presentation of the film (1080p)

- Optional 7.1 DTS-HD/2.0 Stereo Audio

SPECIAL FEATURES:

- Introduction to Inferno by star Daria Nicolodi

- Dario's Inferno (16 mins interview with Dario Argento)

- Acting in Hot Water: An Interview with Daria Nicolodi (18 mins interview)

- The Other Mother: Making the Black Cat (16 mins) In 1989 director Luigi Cozzi (a long time friend and collaborator of Dario Argento) decided to make the unofficial follow-up to Inferno and 'complete' the Three Mothers legacy. This feature looks at the torrid history of The Black Cat, with plenty of clips too!

- Dario Argento: An Eye for Horror (57 mins) Mark Kermode narrates this documentary on Argento’s career including interviews with George A. Romero and John Carpenter

- The Complete Dario Argento Trailer Gallery [18 films]

- Easter Egg (5 mins of Dario Argento in English, with random memories of Inferno)

Pre-Order the Blu-Ray or DVD now from Amazon